February 2012
9 posts
1 tag
"The Lord be with your iPhone."
"And also with yours."
Feb 21st
2 notes
1 tag
Feb 19th
169 notes
4 tags
so I was driving down a residential street today
and I saw someone ahead so I slowed down and it was just this girl on a unicycle and I was driving by really slow and she was rolling by really slow with this giant grin on her face and I was like “what on earth”
Feb 10th
2 notes
4 tags
I'M SICK
Y’ALL KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS: AWWWWWWRIIIIGHTTTT
Feb 7th
Feb 3rd
12 notes
4 tags
The continued adventures in babysitting a 14...
Him: You should download this one app, it only works on the iPad.
Me: Let me see. Wait, what, no, this is like three dollars.
Him: But it's really fun!
Me: I swear to god dude, this better be the greatest game I have ever played.
Him: It's just three dollars.
Me: YOU'RE JUST THREE DOLLARS
Him: JUST DOWNLOAD IT
Feb 3rd
2 notes
Feb 3rd
2,793 notes
2 tags
Feb 2nd
64,069 notes
4 tags
Feb 2nd
6,041 notes
January 2012
12 posts
Jan 29th
4,180 notes
5 tags
Jan 27th
43 notes
2 tags
Jan 17th
8,038 notes
4 tags
“Today I went to Costco and saw a selection of TVs bigger than ours and I felt...”
– Dad
Jan 17th
2 tags
Jan 14th
5 tags
YEAAHH WINTER
Anyone: oh hey did you notice it's been kind of dry out lately
My Nose: *RIVERS AND STREAMS OF BLOOD*
Jan 11th
“Let food cool 5 minutes before eating.”
Jan 10th
22,400 notes
5 tags
“The woman Holmes referred to as “the woman” was remade by Moffat as...”
– Jane Clare Jones, The Guardian And she has to beat us to death over and over with glib little quips about how she is a dominatrix. In case we forgot. Remember how she tied that guy up because she’s a dominatrix? Or how she apparently ‘knows what the DNA record keeper likes’ so she...
Jan 8th
9 notes
2 tags
Jan 7th
pictures of cats staring wistfully into the...
newfriendsam:
Jan 7th
1,156 notes
3 tags
Jan 3rd
3 notes
4 tags
I HAVEN'T UPDATED THIS SINCE...LAST YEAR
Jan 3rd
1 note
December 2011
12 posts
4 tags
how does anything even get done around here
Me: --But mom I need THAT recipe for the brownies I don't want to look it up online, what if it's DIFFERENT.
Mom: But I'm too lazy to go downstairs and get the cookbook.
Me: So? Just tell me where it is, I'll go get it.
Mom: No, I'm too lazy to even send you downstairs.
Me: Mom what
Dec 18th
5 notes
Dec 16th
535 notes
5 tags
Dec 12th
113 notes
Dec 12th
23,902 notes
6 tags
Dec 9th
500 notes
3 tags
Tonight at the house of the 14 year-old I...
[We're sitting on a couch, watching TV in silence]
Him: Are we both just sitting here with the TV on but not watching because you're playing games on your iphone and I'm playing games on my droid?
Me: ...yes.
Him: Wanna switch.
Me: .........yes.
[We switch phones and continue as before]
Dec 8th
Dec 8th
2,180 notes
Dec 5th
1 tag
Dec 5th
9,815 notes
laurenannie asked: GRL my catburgr stores are seriously lacking.
Dec 4th
2 notes
Dec 3rd
802 notes
3 tags
Dec 2nd
2 tags
Dec 1st
4,100 notes
November 2011
22 posts
4 tags
Nov 21st
4,286 notes
2 tags
today I was forcibly moisturized by one of the...
SHE CAME AT MY FACE WITH AN UNHOLY SPEED AND I COULDN’T AVOID IT
Nov 20th
4 tags
Nov 17th
3,538 notes
3 tags
Nov 17th
21,787 notes
2 tags
Nov 15th
2 tags
Nov 15th
6 tags
Nov 15th
2 notes
Nov 11th
3,091 notes
1 tag
Nov 10th
55 notes
4 tags
Nov 10th
2 tags
Nov 8th
28,137 notes
I use itunes AND spotify at once because I can't...
Nov 8th
1 tag
Nov 7th
122,512 notes
Nov 7th
2,182 notes
Nov 7th
4 tags
Dilly the modern-day football husband
Dilly: GET ME ANOTHER BEER MARGARET Dilly: HEY Dilly: WITHOUT THE SASS Dilly: I AM ALMOST OUT OF THE GOOD FLAVORS OF JOLLY RANCHERS, LEAVING ONLY THE GRAPE ONES THAT SUCK Dilly: AND I AM IN NO MOOD
Nov 7th